I watched two decent movies today. They were both dvd's due to my father's current fixation(it could be worse) with them, despite his total inability to understand the nuances of the special features, but it's not hurting anyone, so we'll move on.
The first was "Rocky and Bullwinkle, the movie". It was true to the hokieness of the series, but it really drags on and was very predictable(more that the series). It had potential, but they had two many underdeveloped elements such the inner child of one of the agents only really did anything in the end without much development or the fearless leader's lack of a good evil accent. Robert de Nero was a good choice, but he focused so much on adopting a foreign accent that the point was lost. Oh well, i excepted nonsense and got better than i bargained.
The other movie was Dinosaurs by disney. It smelled distinctly of "a land before time", but where in "A land before time" the emphasis was on a single boy's growth as an individual, and in Dinosaurs the emphasis was placed on a families unconditional love, despite any difference in species, which made it stink of Tarzan. In the end it confused me. How come all of the strong dinosaurs died?

Oh well. on the page of my day planner that i wrote my previous entry was this quote:

"Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh." -Katharine Hepburn

Do not pity me for situations beyond my control. The human spirit is far more resilient than any shackle conceived by any beast or any god.

If you must pity me, pity me for my moments of weakness, when I stumble and when I fall. But if you do, think of your own bruised knees and scraped elbows.

There are others closer to you who are more worthy than I of your "affections". Pity those who ask for help only to turn and despise those who give it freely. Pity those who hate others for doing things to him that he would have done freely to himself. Pity those who hate without cause.

I may not be able to communicate as well as I should, but I do understand that pity is not given out of love or even given, it is bestowed onto those who you spite and under this "honor" I will continue to grin and bear.

Despite my "naivety", I do know what I can change and what is unchangeable. And what is unchangeable must be borne, even if it takes hiding your true feelings behinds masks of dopey smiles and whispers in slow speech.

I'm thinking about get a cyberpet. the one i'm thinking about is from the Brunching Shuttlecocks. I think a gothic doodle saying antisocial things is an amusing ang creative idea, even if it does corrupt the youth:). Unfortunately, it'd probably add more color to this page than i can handle at the moment(Plus Red, White, and black and blue just don't blend).

In music news, I've finally been able to download songs again. It's wonderful, if you consider two hours download time for a poor quality five minute song marvelous. Anyway, I downloaded a remake of "head like a whole" done by PIG. I don't know if it's supposed to be a mockery or not, but it's some good jazz/big band and really funny if you've heard NIN's verions. It's beautiful.
Also i got a song from brunching.com/ by Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg, called bjorks song. It's great. I never thought about how many things rhyme with bjork, and not one was New York. I'm in awe. Funny stuff.

I feel so depressed about it. Oh fucking well.

I was talking to someone over the phone a while ago. She's two math classes ahead of me. This from someone who was a year behind me and still can't understand logrithams. Despite the fact that i'm repeating a class, this is just not right. I'd have still been ahead of her if only John the fucking saint Diego had never popped into my mothers mind. The first year there i repeated half a year of algebra and when they realised that i was suicidaly bored they moved me to algebra two, another class i had already taken. It's fucking bullshit. I also took physical science twice. School is boring and so much worse the second time around. I hate Juan Diego. I hope they drown in their holy water.

Oh, i visited andrew(Sullivan)'s site for the first time in at least a month. Amazingly, it's no longer a redirect to a different page which redirects to a different page with a message to the effect of "go away, i hate you all". If you want to go there, copy this: licyeus.pitas.com.

I hope i have thoroughly depressed you because i'm not going to write most of this again.

That's entirely true. I saw it in the halls at school. It brought a tear to my heart, though it could have also been a bead of sweat.

I really like the last entry, cus i think it looks very nice. I think the blue and red stripes really tie the page together, and anything to do with Lori Petty is a must. Now I must say i've wanted to do something with Lori for a long time, but let's just say what i wanted to do had nothing to do with the internet:). Seriously, she makes quiet the movie vixen. Like in "in the army now", featuring polly shore(how do they even let him live?), she had quite the whole bondage thing going on and it worked wonderfully, or in that one really crappy Voyager episode where she and Tuvok fall in love on a desert world, she had quite the tuff "i like it on top" thing going on there. Come to think about it, all of her roles are like that. hmmm....

Look at me, I'm rambling on about girls who get jobs because of their favored sexual position. What the fuck is wrong with me? Or: as jake put it ever so delicitely,"Patrick, your a genius, BUT, WHAT THE FUCK?

Oh well, off tommorrow to visit Camille and eat bagels. YumYum, with a double um!

I hate religious televisions shows, especially ones that take classic stories and warp them into disturbing tales of holier than thoughs redeeming the world through logic. To begin with, they take things out of context. For instance, in the show "scrooge and marley", a show aired by FOX tonight that only barely resembles "the christmas carol", one of the major topics of discussion was the christian influence on society, most prominently the puritans for their emphasis on education. Unfortunateley, he glossed over entirely that the only reason puritans taught their children to read was so that they could read the bible first hand and that other religions/groups had had that same emphasis on education, most notable being the muslims, who saved all of the books and ancient text of europe while the christians were busy burning them and witchs, and the vikings, whose raids on europe gave europe an enemy to focus it's attention instead of each other. Another point I hate about those sort of shows is that they try also to win over support through sappy storylines and "comical" characters. If i wanted comical characters, i would have watched pokemon. Why do the have to put that supremist drivel on television? It only seeks to divide the earth's people which is not ever a good thing.

I made marvelous rasberry sauce for the cheesecake my family ate tonight. It was marvelous. The way that it tasted was divine, not at all like what restaurant rasberry sauce tastes like, no, mine wasn't as tart and mine didn't come from a can. A good sauce can ruin even the worst holiday (meal).
Continuing, I ate myself tired today. Lots of potatoes au grautin and lamb roast and cheesecake with my own rasberry sauce and one can never forget the rolls. No, never forget the rolls. I can't imagine a holiday without roles. Hand made or out of those amusing tubes that go pop when you open them, without the rolls, there is no holiday. I can remeber when i was a wee little shit sitting at the dining room table smelling the marvelous smell of rising bread waiting for the meat to arrive at the table. The expectation, for me at least, electric. It was marvelous. I love the holidays of old.

Going back, I talked on the phone with my friend Camille for hours last night. She told me all about her problems and how horrible her mother was and how see has nipple fixated cats. It was really silly because i disagreed with most everything she said but yet we continued conversing.

Natureman, it hasn't worked yet. I asked, she answered. Not a strong answer either direction, so not a complete loss, but...

It's cold outside, about 20 degrees by the number of goose bumps on my arm, and the air carries a deathly silence. Of all of the symbolic holidays, Christmas is the hardest for me to comprehend. It's cold outside and and even colder inside. My family is fighting about things that have no value, and yet we are supposed to be feeling all warm and gushy inside about a little baby being born in a manger half a world away in the balmy aire of a desert. I don't get it. If jesus was ment to bring the world together, why is it tearing us apart? The "good jews" of Israel are using christmas as a punishment towards their arab "friends", though obviously they aren't. My family uses it as an excuse to find fault in each other. And the world in general uses it to further capitalistic gains while surgically removing the very heart of the holiday. A tradition without heart is as meaningless as it is hollow .

I feel so bad about my christmas feelings, but all i see is sadness around me. WHy the fuck do people do this to themselves and each other. At least there's always festivus

I've given up on commercial radio. I'm sick and tired of having to listen to five minutes of advertising four times an hour and then having to sit through Korn/limp bizkit/staind/creed and whatever the record company says is cool at least once an hour each. I'd much rather take my chance on the community radio station, which despite an eclectic mix of sounds and styles, more often than not has something i can tolerate or even enjoy and is always varied. Who cares if I could hear what i am used to on X96 because i have not yet reached the age at which i need to be comforted by the mundane and expected. This is also why i have cut back on watching "star trek", "er", "friends", "frasier" and the rest. Most of these shows have become set in their ways and are no longer trying to push the envelope, or even to be creative.

Fuck Conformity. Fuck Individuality. I just want something that is different and entertaining.