| the dark cow of mystery
 I found this creepy. Enjoy.
Here's a summary of the mail that i have currently in my mail box: Offers for herbal viagra, Dictionary dot com's word a day, a daily progress report from my school(which i haven't been able to unsubscribe from for three years), and offer to increase the size of my breast(I'm sorry, but my man boobs are a decent size), offer to join a website containing "bizarre barnyard sex"(i've seen guppies mate and let me tell you, goats ain't got nothing on guppies), offers to increase my penis size, offers to help me learn a foreign language, and offers to increase my penis size in a foreign language. What happened to all of my friends? It's no like i've avoided responding to every e-mail i've gotten since the beginning of june. It's not like i've treated them like shyte and expected them to keep writing. Oh wait, i did. I'm sorry. I really am. Please forgive me. I was an ass, and i'm sorry.
No new song today. What a nice streak i had too. For this failure, there will be heads rolling. "fishheads, fish heads, rolly polly fishheads, eat 'em up, YUM!" I feel like I need a break from everything. I can't take my friends at the moment. They're all too nice right now. The way they act towards me is seeming different, more superficial than normal. I don't really think that they're shunning me, rather that i'm exhausted, but the feeling is a feeling.(" and i can't stop this feeling, anymore").
Me thinks that the time has come to do something worthy of praise. Something worthy of song. But all the great beasts have been slain. Marry, i say, and Huzzah as well... I've started to wear my hair the way htat i normaly do in the winter, with the hair curled into two ridges with an almost devillock in the front, like(so i'm told) Ace Ventura or the guy from Flock of gulls(i've never even heard of this "flock"). I of course didn't know about any of this crap when i did it, but it hurts me not. Trendy in respect to a band that long since passed into the wind or a movie about a nutjob who has no windshield can't really hurt, can it? You should all be proud of me because today i went to mass. It wasn't fun, and i feel spiritually worse afterwards, but i didn't yell or go into fits. It's the small victories which are worth the least...
"Heroin" she said, "was the best I had... No more mountains left to climb. The world so slow... all my dreams just too high To be fulfilled in time... --Wolfsheim I'm up really late(or early if you insist). Last night i had eleven cups of coffee(double brewed, of course) and three glasses of water(i was bothering my sister) and I don't feel so good -it feels almost like there might be a connection. hmmm. Anyway, i watched JAG last(this) night. It was actually a good one for a change. For a while last year, all i could do to not vomit was look away and pretend it was a bad "B" movie. But they've gotten better, like last night's which had three major themes. Bud(the pudgey lt.) lost his leg in Afgahnistan and was dealing with being different. The Admiral was having woman trouble -he likes the girl, but the girl seems bent on killing him, through massauge, cooking, breathing, and on. The Colonel was prosecuting an apparent breach of conduct between a woman superior officer and a lt., with Rabb defending. It turns out she did nothing to him and was in fact a lesbian. Of course, Rabb couldn't defend her with that, so instead he made the case about the lt.(it's the old, "it's you, not me" routine. I enjoyed it greatly. Today, I returned to the witche doctor. on previous visits he's said i've had: parasites, yeast, viral sinus infection, bacterial sinus infection, leaky gut, and food allergies. This time he said that i have high levels of mercury. Great. I just love the runny shit. Now if it gave me speed, like Quicksilver from the X-men, i'd be cool with it, but as it stands, I'm a tid bit miffed. I wonder if there's anyone to sue? So far this week, i've heard a new good song a day. Oh yeah. Monday was Icon of Coil's "you just died", which really has very little to do with death, tuesday was wolfheim's "heroin, she said", which is about an encounter with a junky, and today was Avril Lange's "Sk8r Boy" about a once rejected punker. It's odd that i found so many good songs, let alone good songs sung by people who can actually sing to a minor degree. Amazing. I hope you enjoyed your visit to the light side of my mind...
Sumo For All! There are two titans on my mind. There are two dragons in my head, There are two squat behemoths in my soul. I am surrounded by these beasts, They are mine, I am theirs.
"will it ever stop?" ""What?" "the card game based cartoons" "not until we run out of fire places" I'm really tired of all of these dumb card based cartoons. First pokemon, then cardcaptors and digimon, and now yugioh and godknowswhat else. Why the fuck do they import that shyte. We have perfectly good crappy cartoons made here in america. Why do we need theirs? Speaking of which, there are also some guite fine American and Japanese cartoons. My personal favorite right now is Dark Wing Duck (yes, i know that disney is satan's little helper, but it's duties are mostly ceremonial). I also quite heartily enjoyed trigun, aeon flux, batman beyond, buzz lightyear, invader zim, but of course, not sponge bob square pants. there is really no continuity between my favorite show, except of course the fact that they all got canceled. How anyone can justify canceling a show about a super hero duck or about aliens who can't quite take over the earth i don't understand. I also don't understand how stupid shows like sponge boob live on. I'll bet jebus has something to do with this... Do i sound slighty bitter? Well, i am. Once again, mandy has taken a shit on my head. Of course, you might ask why i'm still friends with her, and rightly so, and here is the reason: I still find her mildly amusing. ANyhow, let me tell you how she deficated on my cranium. About two weeks ago, I was in english class and Dr. Duane was charged with our supervision. Half way through our period, he walked into his office and emerged with stack of card board with a rubberband around it. They were movie passes for "I-SPY". I being a silly kid who likes movies quickly understood, so when he asked the class who gets the best grades, i stood, knowing the majority didn't know the prize, and knowing that the idea of me having the best grade is quite hilarious, especially to others, like my friend Nick, who also is in the class. As soon as nick jumped behind my bid, i won. Free showing of a movie for two on the Twenty-third. Booyah. I then made a short list of people i'd like to go with. they all couldn't. Reasons varied from distance to disease, so in desperation, i asked mandy on sunday night on the phone. She said maybe, and then changed it to a definitive yah on monday.
Why do the women who like me always end up being nutcases? I'm followed by one all day. I don't love her. I don't respect her. I don't like her. argh. I think that perhaps a happy update is in order, so i will give you just that. In college writing today i found out two very important things. The clep tests are much easier and more widely accepted and i have a score of super high levels on the SAT. I always believed that the midrange was 1200, but really it's around 1000. My gods, that turns a marginally good score into a roof raiser. shnikees. (And yet i'm still disappointed with my score.) IN more recent news, i've gotten a second printing copy of "Breakfast of Champions". That has got to be one of the greatest books of all times. Kurt Vonnegut might not right good, but damn, can he right well...
Yeah for English. Yeah. Yeah. Oh boy, oh boy.... Why is Physics conceptual? Why isn't it real?
I don't care about religion. I don't care about your religion. Why must i care if you don't care? It doesn't seem fair for me to care and you to go fuck the music teacher. Why is it acceptable for teachers to be hypocrites? I don't enjoy my life at the moment. There's too many backbiters and too many shittalkers. My friends are all not friends, each trying to use me as pawns in their wretched plots to deprive each other of their little plots of self respect. Do they realize that i know they don't care about me. Do they know i've stopped caring about them? One more twig for the raging fire of my depression. I'm being stalked. She is everywhere. Why does she hunt me so? I don't talk to her, why does she talk at me. Is it for the pity i've shown her? Should i keep my pity for myself?
"Maybe we should, ah, cheer him up then." -"Well, what do you think wa should do?" "Well, does he like butter tarts?" -Len I think i love bread. Nice thick loaves that are squeezable. Nice pieces of toast glistening with honey and butter or maybe covered in orange marmalade. But to no avail. My father took me to a doctor who said that I have yeast and parasites swimming in my belly and that my eating habits only feed the little bastards. Fuck them. Damnit, get out of my belly, hell i'll even give a nice belly to inhabit, like say, my sister. She wouldn't mind, i wouldn't mind, and i'm sure you, you bastards, would be quite happy. Oh Well, you little weevils. At least you'll all be dead in to weeks, and then i can go back to eating raw pork.
"Congress passed the Federal Death Penalty Act to save lives," The US Justice Department. "In our system of government, it is the legislature elected by the American people which determines the proper punishment for federal crimes, not lone members of the judiciary," Who taught the uber-cops their political science? The death penalty has been ruled unconstitutional in federal courts in the northeast. Ah to be a yank.
"Not even rabid lesbians could keep me away" So here i am. The world spins, but i still seem to be here, standing before you in all my frailities. I bear no shame, for you could have done no better, yet i feel remorse. I shouldn't have yelled, but it was loud, and it was mine. I missed it, like a sire to his bitch. It's round shape, It's pinched nose. You stole it, and i had to have it back. My methods were coarse, but your's were no better. I have won, but at what costs?" I attended the Homecoming game on friday. The team won for once. The severally tramped the poor bastards from Moab. It was as degrading to the audience as it was to the opposing team. Mr. Colosimo would give no points, but they weren't as for. His chargers ran and there victims fell. No ground was given, none asked. How is this a sport? Neither team would ever see each other again, so why must they fight so fiercely, like baited wolves, each ripping at each others throat. So much for christian ideals at a catholic school. One saturday, i was to go to the movies with mandy, but her car broke and she become preoccupied with an imposer, so i instead attended the dance at Juan Pedro. I made a minor ass of myself and had a thoroughly good time. Afterwards, annika and i drove by the various local movie theaters, but all were closed. Instead of a movie, we got slushies and talked to sincerely bemused 711 employee. The following day, i made peace with the one to whom i was cruel to. In the end it ended better than it began.
I was sick today. 'Nuff said.
"I came into this world as a muppet, Look into these eyes and you'll see that they are googly." -Cookie monster sings nookie
To begin with: Ernie was not gay. Haven't yall seen "the Odd Couple"? Ernie's relationship with Bert is just like Felix's relationship to Leo. What ever rightwinger thought that up is an idiot. Just because you see satan in other's eyes does not mean that the muppets are subverting the "christian values" of bigotry that you have taught you're children. And if you realy feel that strongly about it, you can take copies of sesame street down to your local cleanflicks(a proud product of morally liberated utah) and get them to delete any part that might smack of social equality. Anywho, today was a decent day. On the top of the list, i have my first hater. that's right, a person who i have done nothing to, except possibly been too loud in calculus. Damnit, if an equation is in standard form, you don't need to simplify, just leave it as it is. Don't burden the teacher with finding the square root of three only to insist he square it back. So he turns around really quick(like a nervous bunny) tells me that he hate's me, stating matter'o'factly," I hate you", and then turning around even faster so as not to elicit a response. I can handle being disliked. I can handle being hated for any wrongs i have done. But for something so small and to tell me in such an ordinary way pisses me off to no end. People like him make me support after birth abortion. Next in magnitude was i read the first four "lenoire" comics drawn by roman dirge, who has a hand in the "Invader Zim" cartoon series. It's much funnier all at once because each strip gets you more into the mood for dark huma'. It not quite as good as Johny, but it's just about. TO finish, i've been asked to mercy date someone from Brighton. Unfortunately i might not be able to do it, but the person who asked me is a friend, so i've got my minerals in a pinch. ARGH!
I'll be your shoulder... ... to scream at Today is the day that will forever be. It will live on in texts near to hashishans and dark hands. In history class i was reminded of something i had long forgot. In the darkest of nights, the stars still shine. Mrs J's sister had a baby today. I was expecting a somber, teary eyed shadow today, but when i saw her, all is saw was Happiness and positive energy radiated from her like a hot sun. Is it possible that it is possible to move on and to continue building our towers in the sky? On tuesday, I was talking to a nice guy named Parvis(sp?). He found it (darkly) amusing that the American news media can talk so much and yet could say so little. It's true, unfortunately, the media has become an epic struggle to give people that warm, squishy feeling. Hell, most people only watch the ten o'clock news to see the sports, to see those last few minutes. Has the media become like a bad episode of Seinfeld?
A day of daring deeds. A day of scaring loss. A day forever lost into
the smoke. Forgotten only by the dead. Hate heals no wounds, only tears at
old scares. For freedom. For Righteousness. For Normalcy. And thus the sheep were led.
I've decided several things about life and my self:
Yes, it was a big day. Now if only i could figure out how to tie my shoes.
"shall we just say buy at the gate?"- My Superhero Today i had an odd day. It started with Weight Training. There Zach and I started with squats and had no energy for the rest of class. Then i went to Advanced Television Production, which i also took last year, and i bitched at people the way old people do. It was fun. Next on the list of places i went was Dr Colemans' intro to writing. I wrote a diagnostic paper on how it was never to late to give up your predjudices. I supported the statement by talking about G. Wallace and how he changed his opinions of African Americans when he became dependant on them to live and that his funeral was attended by many black people. Then i talked about the mouse and the lion and the thorn. It was a quality piece of toilet paper. What fun? Exactly. Then i had to stop by Ms. Turner's room to make sure that she really did register me in concurrent enrollment like she was supposed to. I ended up getting a earful of words and i left with more questions then i started with. Does that woman ever shut up? Then it was physics. Lovely physics. I've done all of my homework in that class for once, mostly because Mandy calls me up and makes me explain all the math to her. Two hours every other night explaining simple math. Yeah. That was my day. Not great, but not terrible. I actually read the guestbook and now i must write a letter... |
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